i totally (well, not really. it was just at the back of my head) forgot about the radio show today until yesterday. well, Carlos and I met with Yoko and Kenthany a couple of hours before the show to talk about what we were going to say. the show was pretty fun, and i sang a song, and they interviewed me about my life and how God changed it. i was able to share to many people about what amazing things God has done in my life.
i had to dig deep into my past for this show. Kenthany asked me questions before the show about how my life was back then, and what really made me come to Jesus. it made me think. really think. How did I really became a Christian? i knew it was because of the bible, but which part of the bible rang the bell and made the home run? i had to DIG and i remembered this one scripture. I believe it was the first one that i underlined in the bible, if not Romans 8:28. it was the last scripture in the book of Matthew where Jesus said "and lo, I am with you, until the end of age."
it gave me so much comfort to know that Jesus will never leave me.
the thing is, i forgot how i fell in love with my first love, Jesus. i just found a church and desired to serve His people, and i forgot about Him. i forgot about our relationship, about how and when it all started. i forgot the promise, the commitment i made, and just went on about my new life. a life that is supposedly for Him, but only half-heartedly lived for Him.
i can't be more honest than now. i have NOT been living a lie, i just have not been living the way i'm supposed to. i'm supposed to bask in that comfort of knowing who He is, and who He really is to me. He's my first love. I just left Him there and thought i was giving Him all when i really am not.
Jesus. I'm sorry. I just realized it. just now.
i'm fasting tomorrow, with the rest of the church. and so my internet usage is limited. :p
Sunday, January 18, 2009
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